Pros: Very inexpensive; good curve for G-spot/P-spot stimulation; harness-compatible; anal-safe; suction cup base for hands-free use; hole in the base allows for a bullet vibrator to be inserted if desired
Cons: Can’t be used with silicone-based lubes; may be smaller than some users prefer; bullet vibrator not included
The Best Luxe Dildo: Njoy Eleven
Yes, this toy is ludicrously expensive, but having been one of my personal favorites for nearly a decade, I can vouch that it’s worth every penny. So named The Eleven because of its 11 inches of steel, it’s a stunning double-ended dildo that firmly massages the G-spot or P-spot, provided you can manage its significant girth. One end is fairly smooth, while the other has a pleasant ribbed texture. One word of warning: as you might expect, the Eleven is very heavy for a dildo (2.75 pounds), so it’s definitely not for everyone—I admittedly don’t have the best arm strength so I prefer to have my partner use it on me for better leverage.
Pros: Double-ended design offers a variety of sensations; textured side is stimulating and also functions well as a grippable handle; gentle curve for G-spot stimulation; durable and long-lasting; comes with a nice leather bag for storage/travel
Cons: Heavy; may be too large for some people to use comfortably
Who Can Use a Dildo?
Dildos are equal opportunists, and can “help with internal stimulation and discovery of pleasure zones in [the] mouth, vulva, and anus,” Kelleher explains. Many queer couples use dildos together, in a harness or otherwise, but you don’t have to be queer to enjoy them. People with penises might be wondering right about now, Why would I use a toy to penetrate someone, when I already have a dildo-shaped appendage on my body? Well, for many reasons. Dildos “can help people manage erectile unpredictability, performance anxiety, and additional medical conditions,” Kelleher points out, since dicks can easily go soft and dildos don’t.
They also just give you more variety than you’d get if you stuck to the basics. “Dildos can enhance sexual pleasure through new or unique sensations and stimulation that a human body simply cannot reach, or [that] may be really difficult to achieve,” Kelleher says, noting that it’s not about a lack of skills, but more so the limitations of the body.
You can even use dildos solo, which can be especially helpful for getting used to penetration over time. “Dildos are sometimes recommended as part of therapy for pelvic floor muscle spasms, vaginismus, and additional medical conditions,” for instance, Kelleher says. “They can also help folks practice relaxation of the pelvic floor muscles for more pleasurable insertion.”
What Should I Look for in a Dildo?
Material: “Make sure you are using products that are made of high-quality, body-safe materials,” Heidegger says, such as silicone, ABS plastic, glass, and stainless steel. “Your body deserves to be as safe as possible, and these sensitive areas of our body can be negatively impacted by cheap materials (i.e. bacteria, infections, pH imbalances).”
Size & Shape: “Everybody and every body is different,” Heidegger says. “It is important to find a size and shape that works for your body, which may take some trial and error.” If you’ve been penetrated before—whether by someone’s fingers, a penis, or a sex toy—you can compare measurements to figure out what length and diameter might work best for you in a dildo.
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