Every Bridgerton Sex Scene, Ranked

Publicity for the show’s second season emphasized at length how the famous Bridgerton sex scenes are filmed. And yet, there are almost no sex scenes in Bridgerton season two. Until the seventh episode, there is no oral, no anal, no hand stuff. There is nothing but heaving bosoms and suggestive eyelash choreography, in six out of eight episodes. But the sexual tension between Simone Ashley as Kate Sharma and Jonathan Bailey as Anthony Bridgerton builds up higher than Big Ben. There is more heavy breathing and chest heaving in each episode than in the entire Tour de France. Where the previous season was made somewhat less sexy because of Daphne Bridgerton’s (Phoebe Dynevor) total ignorance of sex, Miss Sharma and Lord Bridgerton seem like they could vividly describe every single thing they want to do to each other.

And it turns out, all those fans clamoring for more scenes of the Viscount eating out the Viscountess had to do was wait for Bridgerton season 3. Only half of the season has dropped on Netflix so far, and already we’re graced with a scene of Colin Bridgerton (Luke Newton) fingering Penelope Featherington (Nicola Coughlan) to Pillbull’s “Give Me Everything.” Yes, this is a real thing that happens. The Bridgerton season 3 sex scenes are already unhinged, and I absolutely cannot wait to see what else they come up with when the second half drops on June 13.

If you want to skip ahead to the banging, this list will show you how. But for both Bridgerton season three viewers and characters, the old saying holds true in this case: good things come (!) to those who wait.

The Bridgerton season three sex scenes

Episode one: (Rating on the “Does anyone have sex???” scale: 5/10)

Six minutes into the new season, Colin Bridgerton is already taking off his shirt and revealing his new six pack. It seems his travels abroad also included a Cross-Fit membership or, as Benedict asks in a more old-timey way, “Under what foreign sun did you apparently get so sturdy?” Given how often women are expected to go topless on screen, I appreciate Bridgerton‘s commitment to equal opportunity abs. While this is not a sex scene, it does send a clear message: Bridgerton season three is HORNY.

Episode one: (6/10)

Anthony and Kate are tangled up in bed! He’s naked, she’s wearing what I believe is Free People lingerie! Anthony and Kate are finally making up for all that lost time spent pining when they coulda been boning. He goes down on her and the camera cuts to a close up of their entwined hands. This isn’t just any oral sex. It’s romantic oral sex.

Rudely, Kate isn’t able to come because the Bridgerton family is too loud and distracting. “What’s happening out there cannot be as important as what’s happening down here,” Anthony says from between her legs. Hot. …But then he ruins it by adding, “Making an heir.” Sir, do you not know how babies are made? Between him and Daphne, the lack of sex education in this family is frankly startling.

Episode one: (5/10)

Anthony and Kate, who’ve been back from their honeymoon for seemingly all of one day, decide they need to leave and extend the sex fest. They celebrate with hot clear-the-desk sex that cuts away before anything actually happens. Rude. At least—or, I hope—Kate comes this time.

Episode two: (3 (for threesome)/10)

Colin is entangled in a threesome that’s either just beginning or just ended. Or perhaps he simply has a kink for ladies absentmindedly rubbing his chest? Whatever the case, he removes himself from the ménage à trois because he’s running late to…wander around a farmer’s market with Pen. I know this meant to show that she’s his real priority, but I don’t buy it.

Episode two: (10/10)

After Lady Featherington realizes that her daughters have no idea how babies are made—seriously, does nobody talk on this show?—she instructs them on how to find pleasure in the bedroom. Prudence and Philippa head home with their respective husbands to do the deed. While not the sexiest scenes on this list, we support proper sex education and putting women’s pleasure first so for that it gets a 10/10.

Episode two: (7/10)

Not a sex scene, but Penelope does take charge of her life and ask Colin for a kiss. Granted, she did have to use “I could die tomorrow” as her argument, which is…dramatic. “I do not wish to die without every having been kissed,” she moans. RIP Penelope, you would have loved Never Been Kissed. Despite being a pity kiss, it’s hot and tender. The confused look on Colin’s face after says, “I have a boner. Huh.”

Episode three (1/10):

No sex in this episode, unless you count Colin’s wet dream about that kiss with Penelope. I do not.

Episode four (3 (for threesome) /10):

We see Colin back for his weekly threesome. And, as with most things in life, the women are putting all the effort into the experience. Apparently this is out of character for Colin, though. “Are you quite well?” one of the sex workers asks. (An excellent question—always get enthusiastic consent.) He admits he’s not feeling it tonight, so the women suggest that he watch instead. After all, he’s “already paid.” NOT BUYING IT. There’s no way Colin is so great a lover that these women would rather do extra labor when they could have said, “Great!” and sent him on his merry way.

Episode four (8/10):

Benedict has started a passionate affair with the widowed Lady Tilley Arnold. We see them in bed, naked and making out, and it feels like a good preview of what’s to come (pun intended) whenever Benedict gets his own season. However, we have to cut away because…

Episode four (10/10):

The first real Polin hook up is here!!!! They’re alone in a carriage, and then he’s making declarations of love and kneeling in front of her and saying that he’s been dreaming of her and prefers sleep because “that is where I might find you.” Damn. With a speech like that, there’s no other conclusion but to be fingered while Pitbull’s “Give Me Everything” swells in the background. They’ve only reached third base, and yet it’s so good it ends with a marriage proposal.