Finding a transcendent pair of pants, as any GQ staffer will tell you, is almost comically tricky. It’s not quite rocket science, but it’s up there. Consider all the factors involved: there’s how they fit, and then there’s how they fit on you. (And whether or not you’ll lose the 10-odd pounds you picked up over the winter—hypothetically speaking, of course.) Between the cut, fabric, drape, and all-important pants-shoes matrix, there are a whole lot more variables than it’s worth getting into here—and those are just the ones I can think of off the jump.
But man perseveres, even against seemingly impossible odds. The Apollo 11 crew landed on the moon using a computer the size of a two-bedroom apartment and with only 4KB of RAM on board. So when I saw these innocuous-looking trousers on Madewell’s website the other day, my body started to feel a little oxygen-deprived. Could I land on the moon, too?
Sure, they looked killer on the model, but considering how many mediocre restaurants TikTok has pointed me towards, I tried to lower my expectations. (Hurt people hurt people, etc.) When they arrived at my door, though, those expectations began creeping upwards again. Fresh out of the box, I knew they were special. Their cotton-wool twill fabric was smooth but not flimsy—the platonic, hard-to-achieve three-season weight.
The first time I pulled them on I understood what it must’ve felt like to watch Neil Armstrong touch down on the moon—rapturous joy tempered by wild disbelief. The fit was impeccable: relaxed, bordering on baggy, but clean as a whistle. The mid-thigh rise was flattering-as-hell, perfect for tucking in a shirt. And the seat—oh, baby. It was so deftly tailored it gave me an ass I didn’t know I had. Because of the healthy amount of wool in the mix, they draped like a pair of very expensive dress trousers (a couple of which I’ll cop to owning); in a pinch, they could pull double-duty as suit pants without anyone blinking an eye.
My only real gripe with them? As of now, Madewell sells ‘em in one lonely color, a brownish shade of green that’s plenty handsome but doesn’t feel adequate. These pants are too good not to come in black, khaki, and navy—heck, while we’re at it, they should come in regular ol’ cotton, nubby linen, and all-American denim, too. And if, by some minor miracle, Madewell started selling them in plaids, stripes, and herringbones? Your boy would hightail it to the brand’s website like a NASA scientist hustling from the lab to the control room.
Did I pitch this to my editor selfishly, hoping that Madewell might hear my plea? Yep. Did I know that big-upping the pants here might incentivize you to buy a pair, too? Also yep. All I ask in return for the intel is that you take up the cry with me. If man can land on the moon, and Madewell can make a mountain out of a flat ass, then there might be hope for us all.
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