Mall culture really is dead, its final death knell the sunsetting of 13 faves from the Starbucks drinks menu. Might they live again on the not so secret secret menu? Only time will tell, but for now, we say goodbye.
The mega-chain is reportedly trimming its menu by 30% by September…just in time for it to explode again with [umpkin spice offerings. “We are simplifying our structure, removing layers and duplication, and creating smaller, more nimble teams,” the company’s new CEO told Business Insider in an email.
“This will make way for innovation, help reduce wait times, improve quality and consistency, and align with our core identity as a coffee company,” Starbucks said in a statement to BI.
To that end, the company is axing the following beverages:
- Iced Matcha Lemonade
- Espresso Frappuccino
- Caffè Vanilla Frappuccino
- White Chocolate Mocha Frappuccino
- Java Chip Frappuccino
- Chai Crème Frappuccino
- Caramel Ribbon Crunch Crème Frappuccino
- Double Chocolaty Chip Crème Frappuccino
- Chocolate Cookie Crumble Crème Frappuccino
- White Chocolate Crème Frappuccino
- White Hot Chocolate
- Royal English Breakfast Latte
- Honey Almondmilk Flat White
Man, if white hot chocolate is all that stands between Starbucks and bankruptcy, I should probably reconsider my Roth IRA. No joke, I am financially illiterate and bought a lot of Starbucks stock…is that bad?
And please, put down the hipsterism and smug satisfaction over being a black coffee drinker, if that’s what you are. It’s been covered. Starbucks has been roasted (pun intended) in Best in Show, Role Models and You’ve Got Mail, yet here we are and here they are.
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