Massaging your prostate has some potential health benefits, but more importantly, for the purposes of this article, it can be wildly pleasurable. You can combine prostate stimulation with other stuff that works for you, like stroking your dick, receiving oral sex, or penetrating a partner. Or you can touch it all on its own, which is intense enough that some people can reach orgasm from prostate play alone. If you’re intrigued by the idea, it’s worth exploring—it could massively increase your sexual pleasure potential!
Why Should I Massage the Prostate?
“Simply put: prostate massaging can produce the best orgasms of your life,” explains Dr. Evan Goldstein, an anal surgeon and the co-founder of Future Method. “When you’re able to focus on this exact pleasure and how it impacts your sexual game and ultimately your orgasms, you will probably wonder how you ever went without prostate massaging before.”
There is debate in the medical community about whether prostate massage has any tangible health benefits, but what we know for sure is that it feels really, really good for many people, which is reason enough to give it a try.
How To Give the Prostate a Massage
First off: lube, lube, lube! The butt isn’t self-lubricating like the vagina, so whenever you’re doing any kind of anal play, make sure everything is well-lubricated before you start. If you’re using a silicone toy, you’ll want to go with a water-based lube, as the silicone-based kind could damage the toy—but if you’re using fingers or a toy made out of metal, glass or ceramic, then you can use any lube you like.
Dr. Goldstein says the prostate consists of two lobes, one on the left and one on the right, separated by the tube leading to your urethra. “The goal is gentle massage from outside inward for both lobes,” he explains. “What I mean by that is: start on the left side and then go to the center of the prostate, with slow, monitored pressure—gentle, please! Then, palpate the right side using the same steps and moving to the center of the gland.” This inward-moving motion helps move the fluids in the prostate toward the center so it can be ejaculated out more easily.
Remember to keep things soft and sensual: “Too much pressure or pounding, or incorrect techniques, will cause the gland to get irritated and inflamed, which is known as prostatitis,” Dr. Goldstein warns.
How Do You Use a Prostate Massager for the First Time?
“If someone is going to use an internal prostate vibrator, please make sure you’re properly pre-dilated and pre-lubricated,” Dr. Goldstein says. There are dilator kits available to help with this (including some made by Dr. Goldstein’s own company, Future Method), but even just warming up with a well-lubed finger or two can be helpful prep for larger penetration.
Once you’re ready, you can insert your prostate massager, moving slowly so you can pause if you encounter any discomfort or pain. With proper warm-up and lubrication, anal play shouldn’t hurt – pain is a warning sign from your body that you need to adjust your technique.
Once the massager is inserted, Dr. Goldstein recommends that you “start super slow and with low vibrations (if your toy has different settings), and for the first few sessions, don’t use it for too long, so that you can learn how the gland reacts to these new sensations.” Once you’re more familiar with the sensations that prostate play brings up, you can ramp up the intensity.
How We Tested
This piece was co-authored by two writers, one who has a prostate and one who doesn’t. Between the two of us, we have over 20 years of experience writing about sexuality and sex products and have tested hundreds upon hundreds of sex toys, both on ourselves and our partners.
The criteria we’ve prioritized in choosing prostate massagers include comfort, ease of use, vibration strength (for products that indeed vibrate), build quality, and a prostate-targeting shape. For toys we weren’t able to test firsthand (or first-butt, as the case may be), we relied on expert recommendations, customer reviews, and our accrued knowledge of which sex toy companies consistently go above and beyond to make great products.
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