If you’re in the middle of some kind of casual inquiry into whether you’re falling in love, then this article is for you. If you’re in bed invoking a dreamless sleep to snatch you because you’re still overanalyzing their last text, this article is especially for you. Below are expert-backed love signs that will help you answer the question, “How do you know you love someone?” You’ll also find advice on how to tell someone you love them and what happens when you fall out of love.
Signs you’re head over heels
1. You feel adventurous.
There’s a reason you suddenly feel open to trying homemade sushi or wearing yellow. It’s love, baby! When you love someone, it can make you more daring and open to new experiences. “When we fall in love, we can expand our view of our self, who we see ourselves to be. It’s a great time to be creative,” says Clair Burley, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in the UK.
2. You’re intensely curious about them.
Forget your investigative pop culture podcasts and crime docuseries—your new lover is the latest subject of your deep dives. Feelings of love tend to make us “study our beloved’s every move, gesture, and word with steadfast interest, keen to know everything about this fascinating, one-of-a-kind creature,” says Maci Daye, a certified sex therapist and author of Passion and Presence: A Couple’s Guide to Awakened Intimacy and Mindful Sex.
3. You feel their pain.
Love can make you feel attuned to your partner’s needs. “Your love is growing when you have an increased sense of empathy toward your partner,” says Madeline Cooper, LCSW, a psychotherapist and certified sex therapist in New York and New Jersey. “When they feel sad, you feel sad. When they feel happy, you feel happy. This might mean going out of the way to give them love in the way that they want to receive it, even if it is not the way you would want to receive love.”
4. You feel a natural high.
You know you haven’t taken anything—so why does the world look and feel so different? “Emotionally, it’s akin to being on a natural high,” says Marriott. “You’re filled with euphoria and an overwhelming sense of joy. The person becomes a focal point of your emotional world. You yearn for their presence and feel a deep protective concern for their well-being. This emotional intensity often spills over, painting your entire life in more vibrant colors.”
Marriott says your senses may even be heightened around your partner—not only do colors appear brighter, but even their scent, voice, or touch seem more intense. “Physical signs like dilated pupils, blushing, sweating, or slight trembling are common, particularly during interactions with the person,” she says. “You might notice a shift in your appetite and sleep patterns and a general uplift in mood and well-being. These changes feel great, and the reduction of cortisol and overall sense of well-being that occurs can even manifest as improved immune function or higher pain tolerance.”
5. You’re full of date ideas.
From exploring the city to spending the night in to marathoning the best rom-coms from 1998 to 2002, you’ll find any excuse to spend a lot of time with them. “You just want to drink in all that they are about,” says psychotherapist and sex therapist Kat Kova. “You will want to go on adventures together and learn more about each other by having shared experiences, and this increases the good feelings associated with novelty, challenge, and learning.”
6. You forget your other priorities.
We’ve all had a friend who vanishes the minute they start a new romance. This might even be you. “Another sign of falling in love is wanting to spend all our time with our partner, sometimes excluding our friends,” says Dr. Burley. “When we start to bond, our attachment systems are activated, which pulls us to seek proximity and closeness.” This doesn’t last forever. Attachment systems eventually settle, meaning you’ll feel ready to retrieve other parts of your life again.
7. You think you’ve found the One.
When a new relationship is going well, we might start asking ourselves, “Are they the One?” So how do you know if you’ve met the One? It’s tricky, because the idea can mean vasty different things to each individual, but it mostly comes down to longevity. “Knowing you’ve met the One is connected to a feeling of being in love as well as a sense that you know that this is the person you want to spend your life with,” says Elena Touroni, PsychD, a consultant psychologist and cofounder of The Chelsea Psychology Clinic in London. “It’s about being able to live harmoniously together and navigate different life stages and challenges. It’s about whether the relationship can stand the test of time, beyond when the initial excitement of being in love subsides.”
8. You crave physical intimacy.
They don’t call it the honeymoon period for nothing. “When falling in love, we are turned on like a megawatt light bulb,” says Daye. “Testosterone and dopamine create an arousal spike and lower inhibition. We are willing to have sex nearly anytime and anywhere, forsaking caution and the voice inside telling us to get back to work.” This is why anyone who has spontaneous sex on a grand piano is probably in love à la Pretty Woman.
9. You feel like moving really fast—or slow.
Depending on your attachment style, new love might have you moving toward extremes. “There are individual differences in how we each fall in love,” says Dr. Burley. “In attachment terms, this is due to a preoccupied attachment (leaning in) or an avoidant attachment (leaning out). A person with a preoccupied style is more likely to press the accelerator, and a person with an avoidant style is likely to take things slow.”
10. You enjoy sex more.
For some, sex feels better when there’s a little love. “You might know you are in love when a sexual experience feels better or more fulfilling,” Cooper says. “This could be for several reasons, including the ability to be more vulnerable and say what you like and do not like to your partner, trusting your partner during the experience, and not feeling like you will be judged.”
11. You’re more affectionate.
You wanna get physical? Hear their body talk? Thank the oxytocin for that spike in physical attraction. “We are more drawn to kissing, hugging, and touching when we’re falling in love,” says Dr. Burley. “Some theorists say it’s instinctive; some say it’s learned. Either way, physical closeness causes a burst of the bonding hormone oxytocin into our system. Named the love hormone, it feels good and helps us feel bonded.”
12. You feel positive about the future.
There’s a reason Joe Cocker’s “Up Where We Belong” still absolutely slaps decades later. Love has the transcendent power to lift us up where we belong, to set things straight. “When we fall in love, our sexual and emotional issues can go into storage,” says Daye. “The future seems bright and full of potential.”
13. You’re worried.
It’s normal to feel slightly hesitant when you’re falling in love. “We can experience insecure and anxious feelings,” says Dr. Burley. “We experience what’s called attachment panic if we feel there is a risk that a relationship is not secure, and we might be rejected or abandoned.” If you’re feeling overly anxious about your partner, it might be a sign to reassess the relationship. So check in with yourself and your mental health, and be honest about your feelings and what you’re looking for in a relationship—and try to communicate that as best you can.
14. You can focus only on your next date.
Whether your usual mode of distraction is kitchen-based dithering or a Zillow stalk, nothing beats love. “When we are falling in love, the dopamine levels in our brains increase because we are expecting or experiencing pleasure,” Bruley explains. “This drives us to concentrate on the source of our pleasure: our date.” It explains that can’t-eat, can’t-sleep feeling of new romantic love.
15. You feel butterflies.
Ask anyone, relationship expert or not, “What are some of the common signs of love?” Chances are, they’ll say, “Butterflies.” And they’re not wrong! “Another sign of love is a butterflies sensation in your stomach along with sweaty palms, weak knees, dry mouth, increased heart rate, and light-headedness,” says relationship and sex therapist Georgina Vass. “All of this physiological activity can increase stress levels as well as impact sleep and appetite.”
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