Hi. You read the headline, so you know this Am I the Asshole Reddit thread is gonna be juicy. Without further ado, here are the details of a woman who asked if she is the asshole for all of the rules she is enforcing on her wedding day…
Reddit user u/Calm-Blueberry2618 starts off the thread by saying, “Before y’all jump to any conclusions about how my fiancé needs to run away from me, how unhinged I am, and what a poor man he’s for dealing with me, let me clarify that these rules for the wedding were mutually agreed on by both me and my fiancé, and many of them were his idea.”
Below we will list each rule and then why her family is upset about each one.
Here is rule number one: “Unplugged ceremony and reception until dinner is over and the dance party starts. That means no phones at all unless it is a huge emergency.”
Here is why the family is upset: “People were okay with the ceremony part, but they found the dinner part too much. Many of my parent friends also said that since they’re leaving their kids at home, they should at least be able to check their phones for their kids’ babysitters. I said if I made an exception for them, I’d have to make it for everyone, so no. Unplugged means unplugged. Checking with your kids is not an emergency. If something serious happens, you’ll know.”
Rule number two: “Color scheme and strict dress code. All black color schemes and mandatory dresses for women and tuxedos for men. No pants allowed for women.”
Why the family is upset: “I got reactions for this for two reasons. One reason was that my aunt who’s been mourning her dead husband for over two years just got rid of black clothes a couple of months ago, tried to move on, and claims wearing black makes her depressive. Another issue was the mandatory dress as my husband’s sister has body dysphoria and hates dresses on her and always wears pants. Again, if we make an exception for two people, we’ll have to make an exception for everyone.”
Rule number three: “Bridesmaid diets. We’ve ordered the bridesmaid’s dresses months in advance. So they’ll stay on the weight they are right now. If you’re bigger size, do whatever is in your power to stay big. If you’re skinny, quit fast food for a few months and stay skinny. If the dresses don’t fit you, we’re gonna have a fuckin’ problem, so stick to your fuckin’ diets.”
Why the family is upset: “They had an issue with this, claiming I can’t police their eating habits. One of my bridesmaids claims she developed an eating disorder from that rule, but there’s no official diagnosis, so IDK if that’s valid.”
Rule number four: “My Maid of Honor’s (MOH) daughter is supposed to be our flower girl, but my MOH claims she can’t since her kid will have to stay with a babysitter at a hotel after the ceremony. She lives four hours away from me and where I’ll be having my wedding. She planned on leaving her daughter with her mom to save money on babysitters and refuses to bring the kid as a flower girl and leave her at the hotel with a babysitter.”
Why the family is upset: This one is more between the MOH and u/Calm-Blueberry2618 — but I think it is pretty self explanatory.
U/Calm-Blueberry2618 said her in-laws have been against most of the rules from the start. “My parents supported us until now, but my mom got so mad that she said our wedding is doomed from the get-go with these dumbass rules. Many people are canceling on us last minute, and bridesmaids are threatening to drop out,” she concluded.
As you can imagine, Reddit users did not hold back. “You can make all the rules you want, but be ready to have fewer people at your wedding if you persist so rigidly. Also, don’t use your MOH’s child as a prop. It’s her child, not ‘the kid.'”
—u/lianavan
“You’re an asshole. Your rules will be enforced at the expense of your guests and most likely quite a few friendships. If you want an empty ceremony and few people at your reception, then by all means be the dictator you come across as.”
—u/broadsharp2
“I think you just won asshole of the month. Oh, and the 1950s called, they want their dress code back.”
—u/an0nym0uswr1ter
“Rule One. Ceremony — reasonable. Dinner/reception — unreasonable and unrealistic. Rule Two. Absolutely 100% unreasonable. Expect a lot of declines over this. I would have zero interest in attending a wedding with this kind of dress code. Rule Three. Not only unreasonable but appalling. You’ve got some fucking nerve trying to police your bridesmaids’ bodies and eating choices. Shame on you. Rule Four. Your MOH is under NO obligation to provide you with a flower girl if your rules around her child’s care are outside of her comfort zone. You are being a huge, asshole-ish bridezilla from hell. Knock it off or you’re going to find yourself with a much smaller circle of friends than you started off with, and a family that’s going to be pissed off at you for a very long time.”
—u/Mehitabel9
You get the gist — in no way, shape, or form are these rules remotely okay. So, what do you think of wedding rules in general? Do you know anyone who has had ridiculous rules for their wedding day? Share what they were in the comments if so!
